Serenity for Eternity
by bblueberry26
Summary: The Charmed ones gone evil... What would happen if in episode 48, the Charmed ones didnt save Melinda Warren and made the generations to come evil? The sisters are even more slutty, bitchy, and ditzy than in the show. Parody and Romance & of course Magic!
1. Preface

Serenity for Eternity  
  
By: Bblueberry26 and Princesscatie21  
  
Disclaimer: we do not own the charmed characters!  
  
A/N: We wrote this story together and although it is only on Beth's penname, if you have questions or compliments you can ask either of us!  
  
Summary: What would happen if in episode number 48, the sisters couldn't save Melinda Warren? What if evil got the baby and therefore made the generations to come evil too? A part of it is also a parody and because in the show everyone is a little ditzy, slutty, and bitchy, they will be that times 100 now!  
  
Preface:  
  
The Halliwells were dressed in their Halloween costumes getting ready to go to a party with Darryl and Leo, waiting for Cole to get there to leave with them.  
  
"Wait. Cole? The DA, Cole? You're going out with him?" Darryl asked, confused.  
  
"No. Not exactly." Phoebe replied. "You see, I just asked him to join us."  
  
Just then the doorbell rang. Phoebe went to open the door and standing outside were two people who looked exactly like grimlocks.  
  
"Oh my gosh, Piper, don't they look just like the grimlocks? Oh no!" Phoebe yelled as they started to strangle her.  
  
* * *  
  
Prue, Piper, and Phoebe were standing in a large cottage back in the 1600s, still dressed in their Halloween costumes. After they were given their new set of clothes, the charmed ones were told that they were needed to help save a magical baby. The girls went away to change into their dresses that were more appropriate for the time period that they were in. Once they were ready, they got instructions on how they were supposed to save the baby.  
  
* * *  
  
"Quick! We need to make a magical circle!" Prue yelled.  
  
"Someone needs to deliver the baby." Phoebe said, looking at Piper.  
  
"I vote Piper." Prue said.  
  
"Me too!" Phoebe exclaimed.  
  
"Why am I always stuck with the dirty work?" Piper asked as she walked over to where Charlotte was lying on the ground moaning with the pain of the contractions.  
  
"Hurry, Prue!" Piper yelled, "I can see it!"  
  
"Really?" Phoebe asked, then turned around knowing that she needed to be helping Prue with the circle.  
  
Piper looked back to Charlotte and told her to try not to push. Then, before the circle was complete, Cole (past Cole who traveled back in time too) galloped in on a horse and grabbed Charlotte's baby who had just been born seconds before. He carried the baby in his arms and rushed away.  
  
* * *  
  
Since evil had stolen Melinda Warren years ago, all of the generations to come in the Warren line were to be evil too. Even the Charmed ones.  
  
A/N: Yes, it is short, but it's only the preface and hopefully we have the next chapter up soon. Please review if you have any comments or concerns or ideas for the story! We appreciate it! 


	2. Pinhead

Chapter 1: Pinhead  
  
* * *  
  
"I cannot believe that bitch just went and got herself killed!" exclaimed Piper the night after Prue died. She and Phoebe were sitting in the manor, complaining that they wouldn't be as powerful now.  
  
"I know! She's such a shmelaphant!" Phoebe agreed. Being evil couldn't possibly be as much fun without the third wheel. All of the sudden, a shower of bluish white lights appeared in front of them. It was Leo.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Phoebe asked, grimacing.  
  
"Hey honey." Leo said to Piper, ignoring Phoebe's comment.  
  
"HONEY?" Piper shouted. "Are you crazy? You are a WHITELIGHTER! You are GOOD! Good and evil DO NOT date!" Piper screamed at Leo.  
  
"But you are supposed to be good." Leo persisted. "Your destiny as the charmed ones is to be good. I am supposed to be your whitelighter."  
  
"Well, you're not!" Piper spat. "And we have never, and will never take orders from anyone else!"  
  
"Hear, hear." Phoebe agreed nodding.  
  
"You're such a pinhead sometimes." Piper said. "Hey . . . that isn't such a bad idea." Piper grinned and waved her hand around Leo's face. It was about six inches away from his nose, and her hand was moving in a circular motion.  
  
Leo's head started to get taller, and a lot thinner. It was shrinking in width and growing in height. After less than a minute, Leo's head looked exactly like a pin, or a needle.  
  
"ROCK ON, SIS!" Phoebe yelled, giving Piper a high-five.  
  
"What did you do to me?" Leo asked, feeling his head with his hands. "Why is my head funny shaped?"  
  
"Because, Leo. You are a pinhead." Phoebe explained.  
  
"HA! Take that!" Piper yelled.  
  
"You are gonna be in so much trouble when I tell the Elders on you!" Leo whined before orbing out. "Finally! Why does he like you? He's such an idiot! No offense, but ya know, we're evil, he's good . . . you would think that he could put the pieces together!"  
  
"Yeah I know. Total moron . . . and he's such a drip." Piper replied.  
  
Just then, Cole shimmered in near the front door.  
  
"COLE!!!!!" Phoebe screamed excitedly, running towards him and jumping into his arms.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
15-minute intermission while Cole and Phoebe "kiss hello".  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Phoebe. Phoebe? Phoebe! PHOEBE!!!!! STOP SUCKING FACE AND HELP ME FIND A DARKLIGHTER SUMMONING SPELL!!" Piper shrieked.  
  
Phoebe and Cole pulled apart reluctantly. Phoebe glared at Piper for a minute before walking over to the Book of Shadows and looking over Piper's shoulder as she flipped pages.  
  
"Here's one, but it requires the Power of Three." Piper muttered before continuing to turn the pages.  
  
Phoebe stood there quietly for awhile, looking over her shoulder every so often to see if Cole was still there.  
  
"DAMMIT!! Why did Prue have to die?? Now we can't do anything fun!!" Phoebe screamed suddenly.  
  
"Oh, I beg to differ . . ." Cole said with a smirk on his face.  
  
"Okay, you know what, that so does not count. Although, it is pretty fun . . . " Phoebe replied, cheered up some.  
  
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your little "argument" here, but we do have something to accomplish." Piper said, using her fingers to make quotations when she said the word argument.  
  
"Sure, Piper. Because it's always about you, isn't it?" Phoebe snarled. "It's always about how annoying Leo is because he's so in love with you and how to stop it."  
  
"Oh come on Phoebe, You have to admit that turning his head into a pin was funny."  
  
"Fine, but why does everything have to do with Leo?" Phoebe whined. "It's should be about . . . COLE!" Phoebe grinned and leaned in to kiss Cole when Leo orbed in again.  
  
Leo coughed to introduce himself and unfolded a piece of paper.  
  
"Your eyes are like blueberries. You cheeks are like peaches. Your lips are like strawberries. Kiss me my little fruit salad!!!!!!!" Leo read and puckered his lips. He leaned in towards Piper.  
  
"What?!" Piper screamed. "BLUEBERRIES?? MY EYES ARENT EVEN BLUE! And that was disgusting. How did you get your head back to normal, anyway? And why did you come back here?"  
  
"Yeah, and where did you come up with that!?" Phoebe asked, laughing like crazy.  
  
"Some stupid paper I found on the ground." Leo whispered to Phoebe, smiling."  
  
"Did you ever say why you were here?" Cole asked, rolling his eyes.  
  
"No. Uh, Yeah." Leo said, confusing himself. "You have a half sister . . . yap, yap, yap . . . her name is Paige . . . and she just killed an upper level good demon."  
  
"HEY!" Phoebe shrieked, smiling. "WE GET TO BE MORE POWERFUL AGAIN!"  
  
"Which demon did she kill?" Piper asked.  
  
"Shax."  
  
"Oh, you mean that freak that killed Prue?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"Is that where that bitch went?" Cole asked, laughing to himself.  
  
"Yes. That's the one."  
  
"Thanks, Leo. Now get out of here and don't come back." Piper said, shoving Leo out of the window.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'She touched me!' Leo thought. 'Whoopee!'  
  
'She was pushing you, you dumbass.' Leo counter-thought.  
  
'Yeah, but she TOUCHED me!' he thought again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So . . . where are we supposed to get this "new sister"?" Phoebe asked, looking around the room as if it might hold the answer.  
  
"Hmmm, I don't know, maybe we should have a certain someone **cough cough COLE cough** use their demonic sensing powers to find her."  
  
"Why am I the only one who does any real work around here? It's always Cole do this and Cole do that. Well, I'm sick of it. I won't find her for you, I'm tired of being used like this!" Cole said in a whiny voice.  
  
"Well if that's how you feel, then you can sleep on the couch tonight, buster! Yep, you heard what I said, so don't stand there gaping at me. You. Couch. Alone. No Phoebe." Piper said slyly.  
  
"HEY!!!" Phoebe and Cole shouted simultaneously.  
  
"That's not fair. Just because you haven't had anybody except yourself for months doesn't mean that we have to pay for it. I'm sick of you being grumpy all the time, either use a love spell or go pick up a guy in a bar!" Phoebe said angrily.  
  
"Yeah, with my luck, the love spell will lure Leo or something despicable like that. And I have gotten freaky in months. I did on Friday. Stupid bastards." Piper muttered.  
  
"WHAT did you just call me?!?!?! A bastard??" Phoebe screamed at her.  
  
"Actually, I called both of you bastards. And I meant it, monkey breath." Piper retorted.  
  
Cole looks at both of them, then shrugs and shimmers out.  
  
"Yeah, well screw you."  
  
"Screw yourself!"  
  
"MAKE ME!!" Phoebe screamed before running out the door and jumping into the jeep.  
  
"HEY! THAT'S MY CAR AND I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! And you don't even have the keys you moron!" Piper said while chasing after her.  
  
Cole shimmered back in and then grabbed Phoebe before shimmering out again. Piper looked in the car to see if they had just shimmered into the trunk, but all she saw were their clothes, sitting on the seat.  
  
"EEEEWWWWW!!!!!" Piper shrieked before murmuring to herself, "Why don't I have a boyfriend that does that??"  
  
"I can do that! Well, except that we would have to orb . . . " Leo said excitedly.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK FREAK!!! WHY ARE YOU HERE????" Piper screeched.  
  
"I'm here because I love you Piper. Our love can conquer anything. It can even make you good again!" Leo explained.  
  
"Okayyyyy. First of all, that's creepy. Second, there is no OUR love, only YOUR love for me. And third, I DON'T WANT TO BE GOOD!!! I never was, I'm not now, and I never will be. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Okay, so maybe the first chapter was boring, yes we know that you might think that, but that was only to set the plot. If you have any ideas on how to get people to read this after they read the preface and thought it was boring, please let us know.  
  
Reviewing is a good way to let us know how you like our story. Reviewing is also a good way to tell us what to fix in our story. Reviewing is a good way to tell us to update our story. Reviewing is what you should be doing after you read this. Please review!!!  
  
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	3. You've got a crush on me, but I hate eve...

Serenity for Eternity  
  
Chapter 2: You've got a crush on me, but I hate everything about you  
  
"Anybody got an idea?" Piper asked.  
  
"An idea . . .?" Cole asked. "For what?"  
  
"To find our sister." Phoebe said quietly, obviously bored.  
  
"You're sister?" Cole asked, utterly confused. "Didn't she like . . . die?"  
  
"NOT THAT SISTER YOU NIMROD!" Piper yelled. "The one Leo told us about, our younger half sister,"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME A NIMROD!" Cole acted offended, but he really wasn't. "You really BELIEVE Leo about that crap?"  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Piper said, sounding surprised.  
  
"What?!" Phoebe sat up straight, looking at Piper.  
  
"Cole said something intelligent!" Piper said, laughing.  
  
"HEY!" Phoebe yelled, defending Cole.  
  
"Yeah, HEY!" Cole yelled after a minute. Phoebe stuck her pinky finger straight into the air with the rest of her hand formed into a fist.  
  
"What, are you like, giving me the 'Finger'?" Piper asked, grinning.  
  
"Yeah, I am!" Phoebe said.  
  
"Wrong finger, sweetie." Piper said, with mock-kindness in her voice.  
  
"Oh yeah." Phoebe said and put the pinky down and stuck the middle finger up.  
  
"That's better." Piper said.  
  
"You're supposed to get angry now." Phoebe said.  
  
"Oh yeah." Piper said, and then scrunched her face to make her look upset.  
  
"Stupid bastard . . . I hate you . . . bitchy butt . . . " Phoebe muttered under her breath, but still so that Piper could hear.  
  
"Yeah, what she said! Ever since you became the oldest sister, you've got the bitch complex going on. You're almost as bitchy as Prue was." Cole said.  
  
Piper and Phoebe gasped simultaneously before Piper started yelling.  
  
"SCORE!!" Phoebe told Cole, throwing her arms up as a sign of victory.  
  
"She's getting really annoying, wanna leave?" Cole asked quietly.  
  
"Hell yes." Phoebe and Cole walked out the door and downstairs, pointedly ignoring Piper.  
  
"HEY! I'M NOT DONE BITCHING AT YOU YET!!! Wait . . . I mean . . . I'M NOT DONE YELLING AT YOU YET!!!" Piper screamed, while considering following them, but then decided it would be too much work. She turned back to the book and shrieked, seeing Leo standing there.  
  
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?!" Piper screamed angrily.  
  
"Okay, first of all, it's not nice to swear, and second, I'm here because I wrote another poem for you. Actually, it's a song, but I don't care. Here it is:  
  
::Everybody wants you, everybody loves you  
  
I know I should tell you how I feel  
  
I wish everyone will disappear  
  
Every time you call me, I'm too scared to be me  
  
And I'm too shy to say.  
  
Ooh, I got a crush on you  
  
I hope you feel the way that I do  
  
I get a rush when I'm with you  
  
Ooh, I got a crush on you. A crush on you.  
  
I just want to hold you  
  
How I always want you, I will always love you::  
  
Did you like it??? You had to like it. Did you??" Leo said with puppy dog eyes.  
  
"No, it sucked. And you can't sing. Dirty bastard. Here, I have a song for you; it's called "I Hate Everything About You." Because I do hate everything about you, so leave me the hell alone!" Piper said disgustedly.  
  
Leo orbed out dejectedly, his shoulders slumped in defeat.  
  
'Now what am I going to do?' Piper asked herself. 'My sister and my . . . no wait, scratch that. My sister and her incredibly annoying boyfriend left me and I have to find my younger half sister on my own now.' Piper sat down on an easy chair in the attic and screamed at the floor.  
  
"WHY DON'T YOU MAKE THIS EASIER FOR ME!?" she yelled. Not more than a minute after she yelled, Piper heard a knock at the door.  
  
"That better not be Leo." Piper said out loud as she walked down the stairs, "Because if that's Leo-" Piper cut herself off as she opened the front door and saw a girl standing there with black hair and creamy white skin.  
  
"Who are you? Snow White?" Piper asked rudely.  
  
"My name is Paige. I didn't see you at your sister's funeral. I came to see you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, like I said, you weren't at Prue's funeral."  
  
"Why would I be? I hated that bitch."  
  
"Did you really? Or are you just angry with her because she died?"  
  
"The second one, but I'm fine. I don't need your comforting, and who are you anyway. I don't think I know you."  
  
"You don't know me," Paige said, "My name is Paige Matthews and I think I might be your sister."  
  
Piper rolled her eyes and looked down. "I didn't want you to make it THAT easy!" she mumbled, thinking how funny it was that the person she was trying to find just came over and knocked on the front door.  
  
"Well, I guess you should come in then." Piper snarled.  
  
Paige was shocked about how rude and mean Piper Halliwell was, considering how nice she thought her sisters would be, but she let it slide as mourning. Piper called her other sister from the other room.  
  
"Hey Phoebe." Piper said when her sister answered her cell phone.  
  
"What, Piper!?" Phoebe said on the other side of the phone, clearly still annoyed.  
  
"I found our sister." Piper said, "You better come meet her. Bring your boyfriend too, if you must."  
  
"Thank-you, but no thank-you." Phoebe said, "I don't want to come over. Tell her to leave us alone and that we hate her guts and that we don't need her."  
  
"But we DO need her, Phoebe! Power of three, highest rank of evil ever . . . " Piper reminded Phoebe.  
  
"Oh, alright. I'm on my way." ::Click:: Piper hung up the phone also and walked into the kitchen to sit with Paige.  
  
"So, how did you find us?" Piper asked.  
  
"I asked Erick." Paige said.  
  
"Who?" Piper asked, but before Paige could answer, a shower of red and black lights appeared in front of them.  
  
"What's going on here?" Piper asked, looking back and forth between Paige and Erick.  
  
"Hello, Paige" Erick said, "Hi, Piper. My name is Erick."  
  
"Um, okay, Eric." Piper said.  
  
"No, not Eric. I spell it with a 'k'."  
  
"So, Erik, wha-"  
  
"No, not Erik either. I spell it with a 'c' and a 'k'."  
  
"OKAY!" Piper said, frustrated. "So, ERICK, what are you doing here, and who are you? Or, what are you?"  
  
"I am here to introduce myself." Erick said. Piper looked at him, urging him to keep talking in a mean way. "My name is Erick and I am your snifedarker. I'm a guide for evil . . . like the opposite of a whitelighter."  
  
Phoebe and Cole walked in right when he started explaining.  
  
"Whitelighters suck. And who the hell are you? Piper, he is not our sister!" Phoebe exclaimed.  
  
"I know that, Paige is over there!" Piper said, pointing to Paige.  
  
"Oh . . . well, so? Lets just reconstitute the power of three so that me and Cole can go back to what we were doing before you called." Phoebe said.  
  
Everyone suddenly noticed that Phoebe's shirt was backwards, and that Cole's pants were inside out.  
  
"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" Piper and Paige screamed at the same time. "We so did NOT need to know that!" Piper exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on lets just get this over with!!" Phoebe called out from the front hall under the chandelier.  
  
"How are we supposed to do this power of three thing anyway?" Paige asked while going over to stand next to Phoebe, Piper following her.  
  
"How the hell should I know??" Phoebe said vehemently.  
  
"Maybe we should take a picture like we did with Prue that one time," Piper said when she got to the chandelier.  
  
All of the sudden a glowing light flowed throughout the room, bathing everyone in a blue blaze. It was over as soon as it had started.  
  
"Ugh, finally. Lets go, Cole, this is boring . . . and what we could be doing isn't . . . " Phoebe said with a sly grin.  
  
They shimmered out to the penthouse, wrapped in each other's arms.  
  
A/N: Thank you to those people who actually read and review for this story! We are having lots of fun writing this, even though we aren't getting very many reviews. If anyone has any ideas on how to make the story better/funnier/whatever, either review or e-mail us! Thank you soo much for your input! 


	4. Good vs Evil

****

Serenity for Eternity Ch. 3

"Our new sister seems…nice," Phoebe commented to Piper, sitting at the table in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

"Are you CRAZY?! She is sooo annoying!" Piper looked at phoebe. "She is like…**GOOD**!" 

"Yeah, well our powers are stronger now, right?" 

"Yeah."

"So what should we do now? Go kill people?"

"In the middle of the day?" Piper asked.

"Why not?"

"Okay, let's go!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Piper, kill him!" Phoebe shouted, handing Piper the knife.

"Kay," Piper said, but before she could kill him, Paige orbed in.

"Whatcha doin?" Paige smiled annoyingly.

"Killing innocents." Phoebe answered.

"Ooooh. That's not very nice."

"No, its not." Piper said, "But we're evil. Who cares?"

"ME!!" Paige squealed, calling the knife out of Piper's hand "And I'm evil!"

"Hardly." Phoebe whispered to herself.

"What was that?" Paige asked.

"Hardly." Phoebe said louder. "You're in love with Leo, for crying out loud!"

"Damn straight," Paige smiled. "HE'S HOT!"

"Ewwwwwww…" Piper and Phoebe said in unison.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Piper, Phoebe, and Paige were looking through the Book of Shadows for personal gain spells. "What about multiplying our strength by 3?" Paige suggested.

"NO!!" Piper and Phoebe screamed, remembering when Prue did that and cloned herself. "We only need one of you, thanks." 

Phoebe said, "Actually, it'd be better with none of you, but whatever."

"Sweetheart," Leo called, orbing in with bouquets of flowers for Piper.

"YUCK!" Piper screamed. "You are so annoying! Piss off!"

"But…but…" Leo whined.

"Come here, hottie!" Paige called, opening her arms and enveloping Leo in a hug.

"EEEEWWWWWWWW!" Piper and Phoebe screamed at the same time, sticking out their tongues.

"What? He's adorable!" Paige said, and orbed out with Leo, giggling.

"Well, at least she's gone." Said Piper.

"Are they going to…to…eww…"

"PHOEBE! THAT'S GROSS! I prefer not to think about that!!"

"How about to kill a sister?" Phoebe asked, looking back to the book.

"Is there one? How convenient."

"Yeah. To kill an annoying younger half sister."

"Really?"

"No, sorry."

"I hate you."

"It was funny though." Phoebe said.

"Not really." Piper argued.

"Whatever." Phoebe moaned. "Lets **write** a spell to send her somewhere so we keep our powers, but get rid of her?"

"Kay. How 'bout, 'Our sister Paige should be kept in a cage. Send this monkey to someplace funky.'"

"Um, okay. Works for me." Phoebe said as they repeated the spell over and over together.

"Did it work?" Piper asked.

"How would I know?"

All of the sudden, a drunk looking Leo orbed in, face tearstained. "Piper!!!" he whined.

"What the hell do you want? I'm not your mother..." Piper said before adding in an undertone, "I'm not ugly enough to have produced something as hideous and good as you."

"Paige just tried to rape me! You have to keep her away, Piper!! She's a maniac!" Leo replied.

"Like we didn't already know that?! We already sent her away anyway…" Piper said, annoyed.

Paige orbed in and turned to Leo, who screamed in fright and orbed "Up There" to get away.

"YOU GUYS SCARED MY HONEY OFF WHEN YOU SENT ME AWAY!!!" Paige yelped, frustrated.

"Hey, it did work! We should do that more often…OOOH, PIPER, I HAVE AN IDEA!!" Phoebe said excitedly. "Super secret huddle time!"

Piper and Phoebe walked to the opposite end of the attic from Paige.

"What is this plan?" Piper asked.

"Alright, next time we do that, lets send her into a crystal cage! Then she can't get out!! And when she tries, it'll hurt…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Phoebe whispered.

"Ooooh, good plan! We gotta try that sometime soon!" Piper responded before turning to look at Paige.

Cole shimmered in behind Phoebe and put his arms around her waist before whispering in her ear. Phoebe giggled and nodded, and then they shimmered out again.

"Yuck." Paige grimaced.

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"You just said something that actually made since –"

"I know! She's SOOOO ANNOYING!!!!"  
  
"HEY! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER! SHE'S NOT ANNOYING!!!! YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What? You agreed!"

"I NEVER agreed! I just said that it was sick what they did, NEVER that Phoebe was annoying!" Piper screamed, defending her only decent sister.

"Uggghh . . . Fine, Whatever!"

"Just remember that I can blow things up, and all you can do is ORB!" 

"What-**EVER**!" Paige said like a hippie teenaged girl. Piper started laughing hysterically and managed in between laughs,

"You . . . sounded . . . like . . . . . . a . . . FREAK!" Piper laughed again thinking, 'which, you are one, so it isn't that big of a deal."

"I know what you're thinking!" Paige growled uncertainly.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!" Paige shot back like a 2-year-old fighting with their siblings.

"What, did you and Phoebe trade powers?" Piper asked, rudely.

"So what if we did?"

"You didn't."  
  
"How do you know?" 

"Because I'm psychic."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, actually I am." Piper said confidently.

"Oh? Really? Cool." Paige said, totally buying the whole thing.

"HA!" Piper screamed.

  
"What?" Paige asked.

"You just proved that you weren't psychic. Too bad."

"I was . . . um . . . kidding?" Paige lied.

"Right . . . . you are such a bad LIAR!" Piper laughed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Off to the penthouse with Cole and Phoebe, in the middle of an argument…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"LEAVE ME **ALONE**!" Phoebe screamed at Cole.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to say."

"Then why are you here? We are at my house you know." Cole replied.

"Whoo." 

"I know I messed up, and that you're mad, so let's just get married!" Cole exclaimed, getting down on one knee and pulling a ring box out of his pocket.

"Okay!" Phoebe said in a cheery voice before leaning in for a kiss.

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Back at the Manor with Piper and Paige…

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"I'm leaving…and since I am, you are too…GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" Piper said angrily to Paige.

"I'm not leaving until you get my hottie back! You scared him off, and I want him back!" Paige said, stomping her foot, ready to throw a tantrum.

"I didn't frickin scare him off, you did! Moron…" Piper added under her breath.

"I DON'T CARE!!!" Paige screamed, before falling down and fake crying.

"That is so fake…and FINE! I'll call him, but if he orbs out after that it isn't my problem!" Piper said, getting frustrated. "LEO!!"

Leo orbed in front of Piper and wrapped her in a hug before orbing out immediately.

"HEY!! HE'S MINE!!! GET BACK HERE PIPER!!!" Paige screamed to the empty attic before adding, "Monkey brain." 

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A/N: Thank you to all of those who review, and if you don't get some of it, it's because we are writing it as inside jokes, but it should still seem funny to you guys.

Disclaimer: Some of the quotes are from the movie "Heartbreakers"


	5. I wanna hate you so bad but I cant!

**I wanna hate you so bad . . .**

**. . . But I can't.**

* * *

Piper and Leo orb into Leo's house, or in this case a cardboard box. 

"Why don't you like me?" Leo whined.

"Well . . . uhh . . ." Piper tried to think of a witty response, but with her true feelings for him, it was too difficult.

"You like me, you really, really like me!" Leo said, realizing quicker than usual what her lack-of-response meant.

"Shut up. Just shut up." Piper snapped.

Leo leans in to kiss Piper, hoping she doesn't push him away. She doesn't, and returns his kiss with a five minute make out session.

* * *

Piper and Leo orbed back into the manor, smiling awkwardly and both had Piper's lipstick smudged all over their faces. 

"YOU STOLE MY MAN, YOU BI—LLY GOAT!!!" Paige screamed, noticing their appearance.

"BILLY GOAT?!?!" Phoebe said mockingly, "Why did you say 'Billy goat'? That's random"

"Because. It isn't nice to swear." Paige said school-girl-ish-ly

"HEY! WHO YOU CALLIN A BILLY GOAT?" Leo screamed, 2 minutes too late, defending Piper.

"You're girlfriend." Paige said sarcastically.

"Oooohhh BURN!" Cole shouted.

Paige's chin started whimpering and her eyes began to tear. She ran away before anyone could notice (well , she THOUGHT no one noticed, but really everyone did).

Erick's dark orb appeared in front of Paige in her bedroom, sobbing on her bed.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Erick asked rudely.

Paige replied with a loud sob.

"Aww. I'm sorry." Erick said, walking over to Paige and putting an arm around her in a friendly manner.

Paige fell into his arms and cried on his shoulder.

"STOP THE MAKE-OUT SESSION!" Phoebe slammed the door open and walked in. "We've got a problem."

"What's the problem?" Paige asked, wiping the tears away from her face.

"Cole's . . . MISSING!!!!!" Phoebe screamed, bursting into tears.

"What is this, a cry-fest?" Erick asked. "What's up with you people??"

All the sudden, Piper flies in (not literally), tears streaming down her face without a sound. "I am soo sorry. I didn't mean to like him! It just happened! I can't help it."

"As I said, cry-fest" Erick

"She . . . stole. . . my. . . BOYFRIEND!!!!" Paige screamed between sobs, pointing at Piper.

"Okay, he didn't even like you in the first place! YOU TRIED TO RAPE HIM!" Phoebe said, not crying anymore.

"I did NOT!" Paige said defending herself.

"You so did!" Phoebe smirked.

"Look, Paige. I'm sorry, but he came on to me! And I just . . . went along with it." Piper said impishly.

Paige glared at Piper and walked out of the room.

"So. . . what's next, Piper?" Phoebe asked.

"Uhh, I say we go kill innocents." Piper said.

"Well, I meant with LEO, but okay." Phoebe said before walking out the door.

"It comes and then it goes away. Just like that." Erick said to himself, because everyone had left the room and he was left there alone. Erick then orbed out, into the "Down There" to watch Piper and Phoebe do whatever they were going to do, making sure they didn't get in trouble like their older sister did.

* * *

Paige stormed into her room, talking to herself. 

"That stupid….UGH! Ooooh, I'm gonna get back at her for this…And then my hottie will have no choice but to fall back in lust with me!"

And with that, Paige started sprinting up the stairs to the attic, falling down twice before she finally reached the top.

Paige walked over to the Book, but when she reached out to grab it, it flew away from her. "Gosh darn! What is wrong with it?!" Paige continued to chase the Book around the room, but stopped when Leo orbed in. "Oh, hellllo, Leo!" Paige said in what she thought was a seductive voice, but actually using one that scared the crap out of him.

"Oh….hi. I was looking for Piper…Have you seen her?" Leo asked, inching away from Paige.

"OH! SO YOU'RE HERE FOR PIPER?!" Paige screamed angrily.

"Um, yes? I need her…Could you please just tell me where she is??" Leo replied, blushing a bright pink.

"SHE'S……With another man!" Paige said excitedly, her eyes gleaming.

"You're lying, I would've sensed it. I understand that you thought we had a thing, but we don't, and we never will, so just leave me alone, _please. _And tell me where Piper really is!" Leo told Paige forcefully, becoming angry.

"SCREW PIPER!"

"I'D LIKE TO, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS!"

Cole shimmered in, looked at the two of them, shook his head, and then shimmered out again, with a grin on his face.

* * *

The title is from a song by Taking Back Sunday. 

Review if you would like us to know what you think. :D

Yeah, by the way, the tenses might be messed up because catie was writing in present tense and i was writing in past, so it might be a little strange, so if you find something you can comment and tell us to fix it, or just ignore it. sorry for the inconvenience.


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